thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
