I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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