I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
