bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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