i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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