What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
