you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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