Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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