I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
