What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
