she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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