no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
