its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize