I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
