I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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