I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
