how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
