Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
