I just saw a hot homeless man
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
