So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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