A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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