Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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