i don't like sucking hair
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
