I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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