I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
COCAINE IS GR8
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
