Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are the jesus of drinking
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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