She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
