she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need a beard to bite.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
