Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
