Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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