omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
