Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
