i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
