Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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