we have officially lost it.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
this is an emotional support booty call
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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