i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
