this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
