Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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