It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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