You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
