You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my being single is dangerous.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
