Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
