the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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