Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
