I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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