but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
