She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
