tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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