What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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