I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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