If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
